Scenes

It's been a drizzly morning, one of the first chilled by autumn and, for once, we both stayed under the covers until the children woke us up.

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For as many hours, days we spend hurrying, balancing, juggling, this morning, our start, for once, was slow.

One by one they joined me in the kitchen. The oldest down first, discovering the joy of writing; I made her tea for a scratchy throat. I dream of writing side by side with her someday. But for now she does her best with guessing of letters to tell her silly stories.

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And then between the chorus, the mediating and questions and requests for seconds and spilling of drinks and good-bye-ing to daddy, the harmony of the normal, we read together, starting our day with something equally as short as beautifully simple but still the most profound, most necessary, truth.

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Then, leaving the mess,

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we lit a fire and retreated to the couch, piling blankets and bodies. The learning happens differently each morning.

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One on my lap, one snuggled into an arm, two playing together, puzzling, drawing, building, it varies. Then, swapping out children, rearranging spaces, redirecting, re-instructing, repeating.

And then, sometimes, like this morning, the true learning, it looks less like practice, and it's in the joining, the sharing, the foregoing of glamour and just resting in the mundane.

scenes_0004These are the scenes I want to remember.

Because however short the quiet lasts these days, it won't be as short as these years.

scenes_0006It's a consuming season, to be sure. And yet, a sharpening season.

scenes_0016One where I'm just as challenged by the call to lay my life down as they are to sit down.

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Yes, I've said it before here, they're the children I need.

scenes_0009But, oh, when the glimpses of the growth peek through the everyday mess, the inevitable discouragement, the standstills?

How great it is.

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Because, yes, this investment, it's expensive.

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It's the most costly of anything we could hope for, I believe. It's the time I want for myself. It's the energy so many other grand opportunities could use. It's so much sacrifice gone unnoticed, unappreciated. It's the giving of all we are, in fact.

And, yet, scenes_0014

the more we pour in, the more we surrender, the more we pour in, the more we answer this oh so humbling calling?

The reward, the return,

scenes_0015it's so exponentially sweet.

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